For my final year of uni I’m writing a short novel, which has got me thinking a lot about feelings and emotions- obviously as I need to get into the heads of my characters. (My story will be an abstract romance focusing on the idea of upgrading) And one thing which has really hit me as inescapably true is that happiness is not a feeling, or an emotion, but a retrospective thought.
When you’re sad you bloody well know it. It’s hard to cheer up, you constantly have on a face which hides everything, and it’s actually really hard work. I think because it’s so hard, we are so aware of it.
But happiness should be easy. Surround yourself with the right people, do the right things, and boom- happiness. But I don’t think I’m ever really aware that that’s how I’m feeling. I can look back on a day and think wow that was great, or even look back an hour and think the same. But it’s never with me at the time.
Obviously that doesn’t mean I’m unhappy when I’m actually enjoying myself- I’m not numb and devoid of joy… I think it just makes sadness feel a whole lot more real, and happiness sort of transcends emotion into a nostalgia. A retrospective thought like I said before.
And they say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. And once whatever made you happy is gone, you become painfully aware that’s what you needed. If you were aware at the time, maybe you wouldn’t let it go? We all seek happiness, it’s got to be the number one goal, right?
Maybe these are the ramblings of a mad man, too deep into writing fiction, or maybe I’m on to something? I don’t know.. let me know what you think in the comments! Until next time, thanks for reading, and don’t forget to follow!