My Deepest Darkest Thoughts 1

I’ve really quite enjoyed writing ‘A Social Commentary 1+2’ recently. The act of writing my abstract thoughts is cathartic and helps to compartmentalise my brain. But this topic doesn’t really fit.

It’s a topic which I’m kind of obsessed with, more than the average person perhaps, and that topic is growing up. 

Throughout my teenage years, from when I was 12 all the way up to when I was about 17 I used to skateboard a hell of a lot. Every single day for hours on end. And then one day I just stopped. I look back now and I have no idea why something I loved so much ended so abruptly. But I guess that’s growing up.

We never know when the last time we do something will be. THAT is growing up.

Looking back to my last ever skate, would I have done it differently if I’d known that I’d never do it again?

And think back to playing out as a young kid, trips down the park with your friends or snow days where you’d have giant snow ball fights and the like. I will never ‘play out’ again, and I can’t even remember the last time I did. I would’ve been playing out just like normal, blissfully unaware it was to be my last time ever. One day you wake up and you’re ‘too old’ to do what you did the day before.

I find this thought painfully depressing. And the fact that this is going to be a reoccurring theme throughout life even more so.

I’m coming up to my final day of my year abroad. I’ve probably already stepped foot in certain airports for the last time ever, drank coffee from a certain cafe for the last time ever.

And I’m approaching my final year of university, which is also my final year of education. There’ll be plenty more last times coming up.

Growing up is scary and sad and I don’t think you ever actually become a ‘grown-up’, because everything is always changing.

Thanks for reading!